Turning off the voices

Many times women have come to us complaining of something unkind, unhelpful or hurtful that was said to them during labour. Although we know that they are often invalid, untrue and unkind, they can remain with us and continue to cause us unhappiness or pain.

Below is a list of twelve exercises which can be used to turn this internal dialogue off, be it your own voice or the memory of someone else’s. Read them over and try them out. You will need to repeat them several times to break the pattern, but I’ve found it can be switched off within a day or two. Personally, I have used several of these on myself over the years and I have turned my self-cricital internal dialogue off completely. What a relief.

This comprehensive list is borrowed from the blog of corporate coach Michael Vanderdork. Take it away Michael….

Restate your internal dialogue immediately after hearing it. This brings your internal dialogue under your conscious control by breaking the pattern.
Move the location of your internal dialogue into your voice box. Most people listen to their dialogue coming from a specific location. Often from the back of their head and off to one side. Move that location to where you physically speak from and it usually silences the chat.
You can also extend on #2 by moving the voice to different locations for different effects. Some locations work great for motivating you, others for de-motivating. Experiment.
Further on #2 and #3, you can externalise the voice. Set up a chair, and hear the voice coming from that chair. You can then have a proper conversation with it!
Pick a personal mantra, then use it. “Shut the hell up” is one such mantra:-)
Not really a method, but helps understanding. Who, when your internal dialogue is chattering away, are you speaking to?
Using the 6-step reframing method from NLP. This method uses a signal system to set up with your unconscious mind that allows you to negotiate the times and places to turn on or off your internal alogue.
Imagining a volume control knob. Turn up the volume of your internal dialogue, and turn it all the way down.
If you have internal dialogue that you don’t like very much, changing the tone often helps. Turn the tone into the most seductive, most sensual voice you can imagine. How do you feel about it now?
While rare, sometimes the voice we hear is actually another voice – a parent for example. In these cases, give the voice back to the original owner.
Writing out the words your internal dialogue speaks often helps. Usually it runs out of things to say very quickly. With critical statements, you can also then write out counter examples stating how untrue or over generalised these statements are.
Act. If there is something that you want to do, for example talking to a stranger, hesitation will ensure you talk yourself out of whatever action you considered. If you hear that voice, ignore it and act.
Remember the silence. While you read this sentence, I want you to read it out loud. Half way through a word in a sentence, pause. You mind will, naturally, go on silent hold. Remember this ‘feeling’ and you can bring it back when you want by doing the same with your internal dialogue. With proper practice, you can keep that pause indefinitely.
Wide peripheral vision. Imagine you are balancing an apple on the top of your head. Now move the apple about 2 inches back. Keep your attention on the apple. Now look at the world around you and notice your hands on the keyboard, the top of the monitor, the walls on your left and right and the other objects around you. Notice them all at the same time. Chances are your internal dialogue has quietened down.